It was snowy and cold at this time of year but nearly Christmas and We had to make a video and I honestly can say to this day…was the worst thing I have ever gone near in all of my life, the most painful thing I endured, because it was so terrible and badly done, you could cry. It was so bad in the end, it was kind of good…well it got some laughs and claps but the grade wasn’t all that, it was just a pass but it was nearly Christmas so I let it go, I was just glad that it was all over. Don’t get me wrong, the people in my group for the project, lovely as anything…they weren’t a problem…the problem was the…script and the way that things were chosen to be done in the end, that and we lost one of the group members due to him damaging his knee earlier on in the term. There was one film clip that we did where I collapse and die but as I fell, I went back to far and my head smashed on the wall, and I almost passed out on the floor (unfortunately, I accidentally deleted this clip after the editing process, shame…could have sent it into You’ve Been Framed) darn but oh well! staying up late at night overlooking clips, seeing what was ok and what could just go…which quite often was most of it…I often wanted to tear out lumps of my own hair and this was only a Year One piece of work…all I needed to do was pass but still…it mattered to me.

Anyway, it was December, the end of the first term was in sight, only problem for me was that I suddenly was told that I needed surgery (I won’t say what kind) it was a little bit of a shocker for me, it came out of nowhere and I had enough on my plate dealing with University, now I had to lose a part of me too! ah well, no point moaning I thought, let’s just get on with it so one weekend after a week of Lectures and Seminars about stuff we’d be doing next term, I caught a train from Huddersfield and went all the way home before I had to wake up early the next day and I wasn’t even allowed to eat or drink anything all morning! I remember them injecting me so I would be asleep during the operation but I don’t remember actually falling asleep, the next thing was when I woke up in a bed, a nurse gave me toast and a coffee which actually was the best toast I’ve ever had (and that’s from a Hospital) it took a few hours but I would soon feel the pain…the painkillers had worn off and I can’t really describe it apart from ‘a pain’ a MASSIVE PAIN that kept me awake at night, made me cranky and would have me going back to the Hospital monthly for check ups and removal of stitches..never had stitches before and I never do before…they hurt!

Needless to say, it was painful to move, walk or do anything for months afterwards, I really can’t remember a more uncomfortable time of my life to this day, well maybe when I fell of a bike and cracked my jaw on the pavement and dislocated both my shoulders, and I was slammed into a House by a Horse, that one hurt but it’s not a competition. I was glad I had the Christmas Break to recover from this…I can’t imagine it being much fun struggling to move about during a Lecture or a Play rehearsal. However, it did give me more time to focus on my short story for the Writing Competition I was entering, even though I never put too much effort into it as I was only doing it for fun. Regardless I was able to finish it and send it off, not expecting much from it…I just liked taking part in something that I enjoyed doing…no pressure from others, I didn’t have to ask people if I could work with them or have them judge me before they even knew me…just me and my imagination…sorry to say but people can be harsh with people they don’t know so well, preferring to stick in their groups..that’s how it is at University…not everyone but enough. if we were all the same, it’d be boring.

It was a tough term to say the least, well it was for me anyway but I had survived it so that’s a positive, I hadn’t packed it in and quit even though I was close three times to doing so like many others I’ll guess but hey, enough of the negative, I made it didn’t I…there was Term 2 to make things better after all…even if we had to do another group project…yey I’m sure I’ll love doing that because I do so well in group projects… oh well, it involves Fire Engines, what did I say about Negativity…just to say people….I heard the phrase ‘Don’t worry’ so many times in my life I could get a tattoo on my forehead or a shirt with the phrase printed in capital letters! it is one of the most used sentences used when someone talks to me about something….gets kind of annoying sometimes but hey…I must have been worrying about something…no wonder people thought I was always quiet, I sounded so insecure and not confident about myself…typical it’s when you finish and graduate that you finally get it but it’s a little bit too late then, ain’t it?

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