It’s January and Christmas has come and gone, it’s still snowy all over the hillsides but it’s time to leave home and return to Huddersfield University for the 2nd Term of my 1st year. The train journey wasn’t so strange anymore, I was used to only having a seat for so long, up to Leeds then I would have to stand up from there to Huddersfield, no seats were really ever available so I’d just stand up and hold on until I got there, easier said than done as the line had a couple of jackknifes along the way, could really knock you off your feet! after that I would always walk through the town center towards the University and catch a bus that went 5 miles out of town to the middle of nowhere or the woods where I would get off at an abandoned asylum where I lived. Why a student village was next to one of those, I’ll never know! scared me shit less most nights when you heard a creek or a scream when it was silent! The mere thought that some nut job could be out in those woods in the middle of the night doing god knows what..only minutes from where you were sleeping..I walked those woods at night a few times during my stay there…one of the scariest places I’ve been in my life, little to no light at night..not even any from the stars in the sky so you had better bring a torch or a phone with a damn good light on it or your likely to be screwed! as in you’ll get lost and chances are you won’t have signal so I hope you told someone where you were going, then again, I didn’t tell anyone…wow, kind of scary now that I think about it. I would sometimes either want to escape the ever loud noises of someone playing music too loud or just need some fresh air, even at night. I barely ever so anyone out on the trail as I went for a night stroll, then again, why would I?
Moving on, the biggest project of this term was to be one that was a group project and it’s not that I hate working with other people, more that I’m afraid of it. None the less, I didn’t have a choice but the groups were put together which was fine with me as that’s the worst part for me, not being in a group but asking to be in one! Everyone else made it look so easy and I felt like I was five. Afraid to speak much and always wanting to hold my hand and guide me through the whole thing. Every time I went to class, it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I imagined it would be, I wanted to talk more, you know be able to create conversations that could last more than a few seconds and where no one felt awkward afterwards. To come up with ideas for a video wasn’t easy at first because it could depend on what you want to do and whether it was possible to do so.
Essay wise, I felt like I was doing alright, I was passing everything but I hadn’t got a 2:1 on anything as of yet which was to be my goal….I think it was around here that my obsession with the grade 2:1 began, if I didn’t get a 2:1 in anything, it pissed me off big time, mainly because I’ll have felt that I could have done better somewhere else but I couldn’t get to disappointed about it all or I could affect my next assignment as well. I then was told that I needed to go to the Main Building at University for a meeting regarding having a ‘helper’ so to say. This I was unsure about at first, mainly because…well I thought It’d be humiliating to have someone there because ‘I needed it’ I was against the idea from day one and had ignored emails regarding the matter, I wasn’t going to be told that I couldn’t go it alone when I had made it this far, someone who actually needed it could have the helper but I kept getting emails with a voice of concern so I decided to go in and talk to them about it and well…I agreed to a weekly meeting on a day off to talk about assignments, that’s all, no one was coming to class with me or anything, I wouldn’t let that happen.
Anyway starting out we had to create a video where we recreated a scene showing what would happen under the influence of alcohol and when you drive but also the consequences of tricking the fire department by putting in a false call to them. Should be fun but I had no idea how we would get the job done at first but I wanted to try and have fun with it as we would act out the actions of the characters in the piece while the video would play at certain moments. I know some people by now might think that doing acting for a degree doesn’t sound that hard compared to other degrees that you can do but believe me, it can be very hard and incredibly stressful, there’s nothing easy about it at all!
Living wise, everything was fine. Room was mostly messy with takeaway boxes on the floor, a terrible hoover that barely picked anything up and paper thin walls…oh how I would be glad to be rid of those walls! the room wasn’t bad! it had everything I needed like any other student, a desk, bathroom and a bed, it just felt…strange, probably because it was only home for a short period of time…why get comfortable when you’d be going elsewhere 6 months down the road? not to say you shouldn’t make the most of it while you can but don’t get to attached either or it’ll hurt when it’s time to leave but at the same time, wouldn’t that show that it was all worth it, that your year there was an amazing experience of your life, one that you will treasure forever. I hope it’s the latter, to be able to remember forever.
Keeping a relationship going strong when they would come and go all the time wasn’t always easy I’ll be honest, I would only see Emma for two days a week and go five without, although many would go weeks without seeing their partners so I didn’t really have much to complain about. It was always amazing when she stayed, if I had any worries or issues with how things were going, she was there for me and got me through all the bad and hard times. We all have bad times, though right? I guess it’s how we learn to overcome and cope that matters, I had Emma and my friends to help me which was a god send! that and fast food vouchers were good as well, shouldn’t be really…been encouraged to not eat very well with cheap offers and such, not something I’d encourage to others, unless you have a strong will power and can resist the many savings! I…couldn’t but to be fair, neither could Emma
I call myself an Alien in this blog because of my Mental Condition, Aspergers Syndrome, mildly but it;’s there, do I care that I told you all that…no! if cared then It’d be like I was ashamed of it and I’m not, it’s here…I can’t do anything about it so why get upset about it, I’d rather learn to cope with it and not let it beat me which I believe I have done…I made it to University, didn’t I? People told me all my life that I’d never make it to University, I didn’t have what it took and I’d be a waste of a student, mind you I was about Nine when I was told all of this, a bit cruel if you ask me but I always smile when I remember this because…I proved them wrong…enough said.
And remember, It’s not easy being an Alien!