I feel lost, confused and kept in the dark by one I trust, why is that though, have I done something to upset you so? And if their is something going on, why don’t you just say instead of leading me on and on and on, are you a monster? Do you enjoy lying to me as you do what you do behind my back, are you a coward and can’t say it? I’d respect you more if you were honest about it all! of course I’ll be mad and it’ll be the end but surely it’d be better if you came out and said it before someone really gets hurt for life, do you enjoy messing with peoples life’s? is that what you do?

I don’t know where things went wrong but I want to feel like I can do something about it! fight for what we have but how can I if you won’t be honest with me, I have never meant to push you away from me to someone else, that is the last thing I want and I can’t help but feel as if I have but don’t know how I have done this, the pain hurts me so just thinking about it but do you even care? once this comes out, your just making it worse with each passing day, covering it up and making things feel as if they don’t exist, I gave my all to you and more and you’ve abused that and for what? Why are you doing this to me?! do i not mean anything to you anymore?

What can I say, I’m in the dark, close to tears as you sit their all innocent, yet acting suspicious here and there…am I a coward for always falling for it….not getting up, going out of the front door and not coming back? I don’t know, maybe I can’t because my heart wont let me, it never will so their we are, I’m a punching bag, their to be repeatedly abused by you again and again…yet will always forgive you because I always wish deep down, I’m wrong, it’s just a misunderstanding…sorry just need to wipe a tear from my eye as I type.

I’m not a bad person, I don’t intentionally try to upset people but I’m not perfect at the same time, I’ve made mistakes but if this were to end…I’d never come back from it, that would be it for me…how could I find anyone else…how do you replace someone who you gave your all to and more?

For me, that’s impossible

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