I don’t know about you, the person who is reading this blog right now, yes you! But one thing that really gets to me, that makes me lose my mind is whenever anyone or anything screws up my daily routine! i need a routine, no idea why…my brain just tells me that I need to know what I’ll be doing during the day, how about you?
I’ll give you a very recent example of a time when my routine was tampered with! Last night in fact, I wanted to write a blog before coming up to bed with Emma but she insisted that I went upstairs with her so we could talk before she got to tired and wanted to go to sleep, now that’s fine and all but when I had already planned to do something and I was told to do something else instead, I don’t know but I got a little annoyed and who knows, this might not just be limited to having Autism when you hate having your routine being messed around with by others or it might not even be everyone with Autism that has this but for me, it’s a big problem!
Perhaps it is partly my fault as well because I did not let Emma know that I was planning to do some writing before coming to bed or even going on my PS4 but it did not stop me from getting angry about it which perhaps in a way is a reason why I don’t like group work….I don’t like group work because it can mess around with my routine and if others can set things for me and also change that, it drives me crazy! I can’t stand it when I think I’m going to be doing something, only to be told by someone else that I will not be doing it!
Seems a bit petty if you ask me but alas, I can’t exactly control it or if I can, I have no idea how to do it….it’s not like I own a diary or anything or maybe I can try and not get…mad when something comes and interrupts my schedule….I mean
‘Always expect the unexpected’
I can’t remember who said that but I’ve tried to stick by that to the best of my abilities….well I said try! I don’t enjoy getting angry about it…how can I describe it…my brains like a computer and if something goes against it….it hurts, so I get angry because I’m in pain like if something overheats and needs to cool down! so I slept downstairs last night on the sofa…always wanted to give it a go anyway to see what it was like….back hurts today…can’t get how so many people sleep on sofas every night!
Point being, Autism and routines….I guess the point is that getting obsessed with them and getting so angry if the smallest thing happens to slow that down, even though the chances are that something will interrupt or even change your plans altogether yet I can not help but get angry, even though I know it’s likely to happen….oh what a joke it is! but nothings impossible so I believe I can overcome it…in time