I have found myself sounding somewhat negative recently…when it comes to Autism in these blogs of mine, pretty much saying that the world seems to be always against us in terms of being able to achieve pretty much what an average person without any sort of condition whatsoever can do…if such a person exists because that would pretty much mean your also not allergic to anything as well, I don’t think a ‘normal’ person actually exists and if they did…they must be very boring…nothing unique that makes them stand out whatsoever …anyway I want to try to sound positive about Autism for once…no point going on about how negative it is, right? it’s not all bad, it can be good as well or I think it can be at least
If I didn’t have Autism, would I have been as happy and over the moon about achieving all that I have, would you feel that excited if say you made a new friend or achieved that life long goal that you had spent so long trying to achieve. I always feel so happy if I achieve something, which if I didn’t have Autism…I might not be so delighted…I don’t know but I feel a part of having Autism is when you achieve something, you give that bit more happiness to the world because their will have been those who doubted your abilities based on your condition. We’ve all had that one person who has tried to make your Autism sound a thousand times worse than it actually is…one or two people thought I was incapable of the simplest of tasks…like making food….I found that very embarrassing and I once even stormed out of a meeting at a hospital because I just found it downright insulting! I have Autism…that doesn’t mean I can’t do stuff like cook, clean, tie my shoes, write and so on but so many people once thought that and I can understand why I struggled with confidence for so long and I can imagine so many other people suffering the same when others treat you like a baby for so long.
My Autism gives me a sense of satisfaction in a way because I know that despite the negatives that come with it, there are positives as well….I just don’t talk about them as much as the negatives and tend to focus on the bad things rather than the good so maybe instead of worrying about all of the meltdowns, constant worrying, socializing and such, maybe I should remind myself that I have friends, I have achieved everything I have set out to do in my life and realise that I have a good life…so why should I see my Autism as a bad thing…it doesn’t damper my life anyway that it once did in the past…a bump here and there but so what? everyone has bumps in the road…I get really excited if I have a conversation with someone who lasts more than two minutes! really I do, I feel a sense of happiness every time, no idea why but I just go with it…I have no idea if I’d do that without Autism….I doubt it.
For me, without Autism, I might not be as happy as I am…I might be more happier or I might be miserable…I don’t know but I’m glad I don’t have to find out, I’ll stay the way I am thank you because I’m happy with how I am, Autism and all and so should everyone else because it can always be worse.