One of the hardest moments of my life would be when I broke up with my girlfriend Emma…of course we’re together now and we’re engaged but their was a point when we split up and it looked like it was all over for us but after a long 6 days apart, I asked her to meet me in the town’s local park and told her that I wanted her back…a decision that I’m very happy with to this day because I had to decide about it first, I really missed her and she means so much to me, even if we argue and get on each other’s nerves sometimes….what couple doesn’t argue? please tell me!
There wasn’t a lot of trust between the two of us at one point, and it all began on a college trip to London, we were both people who had been hurt in the past by others and I guess we had both built up a defense wall to protect ourselves from being hurt by others but a long string of arguments and a moment that showed me I couldn’t trust her…she jokingly said she’d jump into the River Thames to get my attention, that scared me to no end and I just didn’t want to put up with it anymore so almost a month after that…I ended it, I just told her and she walked off crying…I felt awful but felt like it had to be done. I felt shit after because it soon dawns on you, your not together anymore…albeit it was only for a week, it was a very long week, the slowest of my life!
My Autism would soon kick in and I would become so sad and upset about it all, it’s never nice for me because some things can take an age for me to get over, I always worry about ‘what ifs’ and it never does any good for me to be honest and I remember being so upset every night after that for the week…I missed Emma like crazy and wanted her back in my life…what annoyed me straight away was how lads on my course were suddenly talking about asking her out…she turned them all down but they sure didn’t wait…never seen them move so fast in my life but for Emma, she was even more upset…I remember once that her college group had to come into our rehearsal room as we were reading lines for a play and she was planning to attack me…she didn’t in the end but she told me after we got back together that she was so close to doing it…everyone couldn’t believe that we had split up, they were shocked because we were the ‘couple’ in the group…their were plenty of couples don’t get me wrong but to this day, me and Emma are the only ones still together but I remember this week as one of the worst of my life because the most important thing in my life was gone and I realised just how special she really is to me and I’ll never take that for granted ever again! She made me feel normal with my Autism and still does…I fell 10X more confident around her than not, I love her so much, she’s my soulmate!