Yes I refer to myself as an alien sometimes when it comes to my Autism, and the reason for that is simple…for a long time, I felt like I just wasn’t like everyone else was when it came to being socially normal, it would always feel like an invisible wall separated me from everyone else and no matter what I did, I just couldn’t break through it which was incredibly frustrating and life at University felt like that for me, in reality it wasn’t but with my head, it felt like everything was against me…I always convinced myself that not many people liked me because no one really ever came rushing to talk to me or anything, I would tell myself that because I was quiet, didn’t go out clubbing that often and such that no one wanted to do anything with me or have anything to do with me which wasn’t true, I had offers during my three years at University, it would just go down to whether I felt comfortable to accept them or I got too scared, made an excuse and didn’t go.
I call myself an Alien in this blog because of my Mental Condition, Aspergers Syndrome, mildly but it’s there, do I care that I told you all that…no! never have and never will, if cared then It’d be like I was ashamed of it and I’m not, it’s here…I can’t do anything about it so why get upset about it, I’d rather learn to cope with it and not let it beat me which I believe I have done…I made it to University, didn’t I? People told me all my life that I’d never make it to University, I didn’t have what it took and I’d be a waste of a student, mind you I was about Nine when I was told all of this, a bit cruel if you ask me but I always smile when I remember this because…I proved them wrong…enough said. Still feels good to this day to be on the other side to be honest, I mean when your continually told you can’t do something, only for you to go and…do it, you can’t help but feel happy about it…it’s always a great feeling because you also realize that you are capable of so much more than you once thought you were capable of.
The second part of my first year…well let’s see, it had been quite a few months since I started the adventure from college to University, from small market town to bigger market town…that some called a city but it wasn’t a city…Huddersfield. Speaking of invisible walls, I once said that I had written a short story into a competition just for the heck of it, I was feeling down at the time and needed to do something about it so I turned to write a piece and it was around this time that I received an email from the competition on a cold evening after another walk in the dark about the woods and to my surprise, I had been selected to have my story published inside the book! at first I thought I had misread it…I mean I didn’t win the competition but my story was still going to be in the book! I couldn’t believe it, up to that point of my life, I hadn’t had the very best of luck, or so I always felt anyway but this was an amazing feeling, to be published! not only that but I was invited down to the city of Birmingham for their annual later on in the year which I’ll talk about on a later date, for me it was truly the first great thing that had happened to me at University so far, so I decided to try to use it as a positive to turn things around. I felt like I was slowly starting to work with others a tad bit better, had a way to go at this point but it was a start and a group project is always a chance to do just that!
Going to a fire station to do some filming for a project, me and a few others spent some time filming certain scenes in damaged cars and the purpose of this was to promote fire safety and what effects prank calling the fire service would really do! it was fun and I had a great day filming and acting, the people in my group were all hard workers and great people so it made it easier for me to relax and not have to worry ‘what if?’ all day which was a nice change for once, I just hoped we could put together a great film and perform well enough when the deadline came about and we had to perform this in front of everyone else.