Today is a rather odd one, I never completely understand why on some days I am happy and on others, I’m not…maybe the emotions in my control center are arguing over the controls or something! Joy is there a lot of the time but sometimes, that little red one gets control and smokes is coming out of my ears so sometimes its frustrating because you don’t always know it’s going to happen. Sometimes I just don’t need a reason to feel an emotion, they can just ‘happen’ because…maybe they just feel like it, who knows…I always assumed you needed a good reason to really feel an emotion like if something good happens that you like, you feel happy and joy…if something happens that you don’t like, you can either feel sad, angry, disgusted or be scared but if it happens for no reason, I just find it annoying…but I guess it’s better than being bored or something like that.
I remember being shown this image of two brains and the difference between them…quite interesting really with the Asperger’s one, it’s all over the place and I can understand that because that’s how my head feels quite a lot during the day really, compared to a ‘normal’ one, which looks neat and tidy whereas the Asperger’s one looks all over the place, like someone just threw everything in there and shook it about and that’s the result. I guess the movie Inside Out made it look easier to understand what each emotion is for and that it’s ok to express them all, there is no problem feeling scared, sad or angry sometimes but for me, it’s controlling them and not letting them take over my life, it has been quite a battle when it came to anger and sadness, maybe fear as well but Joy has never been an issue…well maybe could use it a bit more sometimes!
Everyone’s different though.