I’m not so sure about this one…I’m aware some may have an issue with this discussion but let me assure you, I have no intentions on doubting or questioning anyone with Autism’s abilities in this field…that is not the topic here and I would never do that anyway, I am against anyone who doubts or says anything negative about Autism! No Personal Attacks are welcome here! It’s probably down to my low confidence that I ask this but it’s something that has been ¬†on my mind ever since I really got together with my fiance…I have Autism….what would happen if I had a child with her?? Now let me explain here because from where I stand, you can’t help but blame me that I may think that if I had a child, they may also have Autism like I do?? I remember myself being a struggle and creating chaos…I think I would slam my head against the wall as I slept…screamed if anyone other than my parents held me etc Yet my parents managed and raised me…they are the strongest people that I know and I respect them for that and I always will do.

I am really not saying it wouldn’t be bad to have a child and worry if they’ll have Autism like I do, let me make that clear right here…what I mean is…can Autism be passed down from parent to child? I have no idea if it can or can’t…does anyone know the answer to that? Because as far as I’m aware, neither of my parents have Autism yet I do! I’m not going to pretend that having a child with Autism would be easy because lord knows I was hard work…I made my parents life’s so hard growing up…mainly because I didn’t know about my Autism at the time, we were all in the dark.

I guess because I have Autism, I might be a slight be worried about looking after someone else with it and that’s down to knowing what I was like as a child, it wasn’t easy…not understanding what everyone else was able to, always being misunderstood and not realizing how hard I made things for my parents… I’m worried that my children would worry themselves one day if they thought to themselves that they were making mine or my fiance’s life that much harder which wouldn’t be true at all, I’ll always love my children! I guess the art of connecting due to that one little trait most people with Autism can relate to…socializing but surely I can’t say I’d do a good job automatically just because I have it and know what it’s like?! I don’t know but what I do know is that I’d love my children no matter what, Autism or not…they’d be my children and I’d always do anything for them!

I want to be a good parent, one who is always there for his children and family…I’ll never give up on them…I’ll always be there for them…even if they don’t want me to be…I believe I can do these things…I just want that doubting voice in my mind to stop telling me that because I’m Autistic, I’ll really struggle and crack under the immense pressure but I know I’ll be fine with it because I having a loving fiance and a great family by my side and they’ve helped me grow over the years, because of them…My Autism didn’t make my life that much harder anymore because I saw that it didn’t have to..all because I found great people that accepted me…they didn’t care that I had Autism and that helped me grow and my children will grow up in a household where they will always be loved, I’ll make sure of that!

Is it that I doubt my ability of becoming a good parent because of my Autism…I mean I went to college and university and conquered those doubts but a child is a whole different ball game! it’s another life and it’s your job to look after them and help them grow, learn and go out into the world, it’s a big job…possibly the biggest we as humans can do! Raise another and I guess if I had a child, Autistic or not…I’d be worried because of myself…It can sometimes take me a while with new things but I know that I can get there and overcome that obstacle because I need to…I still always wonder what that first moment will be…when I see their little face for the first time…will I cry?

I’m not asking if people with Autism can be parents? Of course they can! I guess I’m worried about my own abilities of becoming a parent because I’m still in a battle learning about my own Autism yet my child could show different signs to what I did growing up, I remember what I was like growing up and as for my partner…can I always say…don’t worry…I know what to do if say…our child has a meltdown…struggles to socialize etc I know at first, I’ll understand and possibly even see the signs but if my partner doesn’t, I wouldn’t want that to cause stress or friction between us.

No Harm or Offence is intended in this blog…I guess it’s a worry I’ve had about myself for a long time and wondered if anyone could relate or even give some advice regarding this matter because I want to be prepared for that big day that I do become a Father!

Many Thanks World

1 Comment

  1. Hi,

    I have an autistic child and now I’m starting to see (as are some of the mental health professionals I’ve seen) that I have quite a lot of autistic traits and could well have enough there for a diagnosis of Asperger’s.

    I find some bits really challenging, and I find some bits easy. I think most parents feel that way, but most of all I know that I can relate to how she feels, I totally get the struggle of being in a crowded place, I totally know when it is too loud because I feel the same way.

    I suppose you will never know until you are in the situation

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