Over the years, I have seen a lot when it comes to what Autism is and one thing I think should be said more than anything is what not to say to someone who does have Autism because frankly, there are just some stupid things you can say to someone who has it….and I have been asked all of these questions during my life so far…SERIOUSLY! I write this because…well, it should be noted the many questions many people with Autism will get asked by the general public and most of them are the annoying kind of question that no one really wants to have to answer nor should the questions even have to be asked in the first place. To be honest, their could be hundreds, if not thousands of questions that are asked but i can’t really write them all, so I’ll just choose a few.
- Are you Retarded?- Now I don’t know why but I have heard of instances where people have called Autistic people ‘retards’ and it blows my mind as to how they come to that conclusion…I mean how dehumanizing can you be to call someone….a retard? I mean not every person with Autism is a genius as is not everyone without Autism either but the minute some people hear you have a disability, the R word can come out sometimes and it’s incredibly offensive, I mean, do some people just not really care what they call other people, name wise? Sadly, some just don’t…they’ll call you the nastiest thing under the sun, even if they have no idea what it actually is they are calling you
- You don’t seem like you have Autism- Ok, so why is that exactly…because I don’t follow the criteria that you read up on the internet…and what do you mean by that…is it because you can’t actually see anything that makes it appear I have a disability? Also, I have friends, can be social and have a fiance…that clearly means I don’t have Autism, right?? Because who has ever heard of someone with Autism doing any of those things…really? I always roll my eyes when I hear this one…what do you want, me to wear a sticker saying I have Autism?! Will that make you happy?? Well forget that, I’m not doing that just so you can stop sounding stupid!
- Do you need any medication?- Nope, never have and I never will, I mean I know many do with Autism but I think it should be a choice more than not…no one has ever suggested I take medication for my Autism and I’d very much prefer to keep it that way…Here’s my problem though, why would this question even be asked…I mean if you don’t know me…why would you ask? Would you ask any other stranger you meet if they are on medication? A bit personal, rude and private…also none of your business really
- Can you have sex? – First off…WHAT…secondly….the…..never mind, what does Autism have to do with that? Please tell me and make it an intelligent answer…don’t just say you read it of a forum board online somewhere! Of course we can…just like obviously you can get people without Autism that can’t have sex…it’s not based on the condition, it’s based on whether you can get a partner to have sex with (rolls eyes) I swear…some people…I get it because it’s about all over the place that people with Autism struggle to socialize hence barely have any friends, don’t develop relationships…etc….but it only takes two to tango and even if you don’t have friends or a partner…always the internet…the point is it’s a stupid question to ask in the first place…moving on
- Can you be a parent?- Yes….last time I checked, I have what it takes to become one…it’s all there…either your suggesting I can’t because I can’t get a girlfriend because of my girlfriend or you thought people with Autism can’t because they take things more seriously and worry more about abuse and general life…well…you know what…how about you ask a better question that sounds intelligent…your embarrassing us both by thinking that people with Autism can’t become parents
- You must be really good at Maths- Nope, I got an F in school…next question (I did better in college but I’m not an A+ kind of guy…C at best) That’s a myth that all Autistic people are geniuses when it comes to mathematics!
- I have a friend with Autism and he doesn’t even leave his room, why aren’t you like him?- Ok…some have Severe Autism and like me…some have Mild Autism…Every Autistic person is different from every other Autistic person. There is a wide range in abilities, skills, needs, and challenges that are individual hence it can be easy to think that no one with Autism is the same. It would be impossible to really judge two separate people with Autism based on their abilities, hobbies, levels and what they like and don’t like to be able to base them both as either Mild or Severe…but never go around thinking that every person on the planet with Autism acts exactly the same…I’ve never met or spoken to another person with Autism that acts anything close to me when it comes to hobbies or needs, trust me…you’d struggle to find two that are closely identical…We are still Autistic, regardless of how we speak, interact and cope with life’s problems!
- What is your problem…throwing a tantrum like that in public…you should be ashamed…control your Autism!- I call it a meltdown…it’s something that I can’t always control and I always try my best to not have them happen in public and I’m sorry that I embarrass you but I’m sure plenty of other people are going to be shouting out loud in public today…it isn’t just me…it’s called emotions, have you heard of them before?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32U1AzT5hFc I could show thousands of these…
- Why don’t you socialize that much? (I was asked this one at University) – Preference sometimes…at times, I just don’t fancy it…I have plenty of work to get done and I don’t always find it easy…to be honest, since everyone claims to know that socializing is one of the most known things about Autism that I wouldn’t be asked this question yet…I have been…sometimes I do…sometimes I don’t…If I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it, I won’t risk it…I’d rather stay in and be calm than go out into many clubs, panic and have a meltdown…besides…I’ve had many great experiences going out so it’s not like I haven’t ever done it before.
- Are you faking…you must be…you look too happy to have Autism!- This one annoyed me the most…so because I looked to happy with my life…I was accused of faking Autism…first off…why would I? What would I get out of it….all of these questions asked to me…yeah, it’s so totally worth it (rolls eyes) No idea why anyone would fake it really…it’s not fun people…it can be hard…stressful and upsetting and how do you go about faking Autism anyway…not seeing your friends for a few weeks…randomly screaming out loud in public?? I don’t know but it’s a dumb question, then again…they are all dumb questions personally…
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend time with my fiance before I have to go to bed and wake up early for work, after that have fun with friends before sorting out my wedding, have a good night!