With my Autism, I think it’s not really anything that stops my life from unlike anyone else’s really…not for a long time have I ever felt like I can’t go outside and do something amazing…or thought my Autism would get in the way of anything…more likely it was other people who thought my Autism limited my options in life…for many years, other people would decide what I would do, what course of action I would take and what school I should go to…never my choice and I always hated that…well once I understood what was actually going on! When I was younger, I was somewhat naive but over the years, I’ve gotten quite wise and know when someone is looking down on me!

So what is a nuisance to me anyway (I can’t speak for others with Autism in this instance)  is that having others decide what’s best for me! I mean, don’t I get a say…I could still talk and think when I was younger…how did you know I even wanted to leave that school or do that course…I wasn’t allowed to do that many GCSE’S at school because of my Autism…only 3 really…just Maths, Science and English….I felt like it was unfair because they felt I wouldn’t be able to handle it…being in a big group of people…I’m so glad stuff like that doesn’t happen to me anymore…enough living in the past though…it doesn’t hold me down anymore…I left that behind and locked it deep away many years ago…those people had no idea what to do with me and I proved them all wrong!

One thing that also bothered me was I was so busy learning just what Autism was…I had no time to think about what career I wanted in life…I didn’t grow up wishing I could be an Astronaut or a Fireman…I was too busy wondering why I slammed my head against the wall in my sleep! it wasn’t until college that I could think about it and I know it’s never too late but with grades and what not…it’s awkward to suddenly start after your GCSE’S are over…thank goodness I resat them but it still took up a year…which actually might have been a good thing because if I did Drama one year earlier which I actually had the option to do, I might not have met my fiance…so who knows…however, the show must go on!

What I would have liked though was more of a say when I was younger, an option to have a say on where I wanted my life to go…not others telling me I had no hope at all…it doesn’t do me any favors being told that…I had to find a great set of people at college that made me see that I can do what anyone else does just as well, if I put my mind to it, I can do anything…perhaps that’s why I want more people to have more of an understanding about Autism…so others don’t go through what I did…so others can have a say on what they want to do with their lives…to be able to at least have a chance at following their dreams…to not have immense pressure to find friends just because you read somewhere that people with Autism struggle to socialize!

That’s it…I know what my mission is…I want more people in this world to understand what Autism is because frankly, it sucks when people around you don’t have a clue what it is and they scratch their heads, thinking your some kind of weirdo! I mean as a kid, if others had no idea, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?! it wasn’t fun and I don’t want others to grow up where no one doesn’t know what Autism is and if it’s contagious…how is it that we are in 2015 and Autism is still not confidently known by the majority? It blows my mind that I still get asked just what it is and then be told that it doesn’t sound real…why is it so hard to believe…I’m lazy for not wanting friends…yeah because…I totally loved that growing up…(rolls eyes) When I have a child and they have Autism, I won’t put them through anything that I went through.

People who accuse others of faking Autism need a reality check…maybe more of an understanding to what Autism actually is…if  I could go about every night and go clubbing for example, then ok but I don’t want to all the time, only when I feel comfortable to do that…that’s how I am and I won’t change for anyone…I doubt I could ‘change’ anyway…Autism is permanent! it might always be there but that doesn’t mean it will always hold you down, you can counter it and minimize its effects! It took me so long to not overreact to everything, socialize a bit more each time and reduce meltdowns to only a couple a year and I will always keep working at it…I’m determined!

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