Today I talk about issues regarding taking everything so literally and seriously because…that’s all I ever seem to do, no wonder people think I’m so mature…It’s like I don’t have a sense of humor or something! Well I do…sometimes, I just like to be serious as well…we all can’t be comical geniuses who can laugh at everything! I sure hope I’m not the only one who can’t tell a joke from something being serious!
I find it awkward yet funny how I talk what anyone says to me seriously…all the time…I can’t help it and I feel like I fall for so many things because…well I don’t know…I just take everything literally and you know what…it gets really annoying sometimes! To take all things seriously, well it can get tiring at times really. People will tell me to not worry so much but I CAN’T STOP IT! I always feel like I need to or bad things will happen such as being humiliated by not getting small talk or jokes and working myself up over it and eventually either getting ill or having a meltdown! It’s like I won’t be as focused in what I am doing if I stop getting scared by it all, being worried somewhat keeps me alert and makes me do my best in whatever I do! If I were to stop worrying then I would be afraid I’d lose form and not do as well as I normally do. I don’t like change and I do well at what I do, if I were to change that. I guess that makes me a little bit paranoid as well, always assuming the worst in things and that all starts with me taking what people say very seriously…if I don’t know their joking or not, that can lead to worry and for most of the time, it’s unnecessary as I should just believe in my own abilities and not worry that bad things will happen but that’s easier said than done if you ask me!
With my fiance for example, I will ask her to tell me if she is joking or not and have once or twice reminded her that whatever she tells me, I will take seriously sometimes but it can be difficult still sometimes as she forgets but we still make it work and we always will do. I see her everyday and she is more used to my problems than she once was…thank goodness, it makes my life easier having someone about who gets why I do what I do and when I struggle to fully understand what she’s meaning with her words and what not…I’d imagine it’d be a lot tougher with someone who didn’t really care but thankfully for me, I’m surrounded by people who really do care and are very understanding!
Just once though, I’d like to be able to get a joke without having someone telling me it is such…I don’t know but I just feel a little embarrassed sometimes when I’m the only one out of my friends to not ‘get it’ straight away! Not getting a joke is frustrating or when something funny happens…it’ll take a few seconds but usually, it’s too late and I’ve missed the right time to respond. I’m 25 and I’ve made it this far and I feel like I have gotten better with it all but I know I can still do better in understanding when and how to respond to certain things and perhaps not worry and get paranoid if I don’t understand what someone has asked me or told me, I mean if I don’t get it, I can always just ask that person to explain it to me but I might feel a little embarrassed to have to do so but…I’d rather ask and know than let my pride take over and march in confused and unsure!
Oh, to one day be able to always laugh at all the jokes, not panic over what something means and to finally have people telling to me not worry so much…one can dream!