Meltdowns, those irritable moments where a fury of anger is unleashed and it doesn’t choose the time or place, it will happen anywhere at any time of the day or night and it can depend on quite a few things on what can trigger one. I have had many meltdowns over the years, some in private and many in public, much to my humiliation and misunderstanding at times growing up but after so long, I think it’s safe for me to say that I know what triggers one for myself and as long as I know what to do in such situations then everything shall always be alright.
It isn’t always easy because I don’t have control over how and when they happen or when I’m having one, I will think differently and a lot negatively than I am at this moment in time when I’m calm and positive and when I’m in that state, it’s easy to say and do things without thinking about the consequences because your that angry or scared, you just don’t care…as long as it stops because it’s not a nice feeling, it;s frightening and something that really, only someone who has Autism and is prone to meltdowns could really truly understand, well if you look after someone with Autism or have a friend with Autism then you might understand up to an extent.
Here are two of my main factors that are always the reasons I end up having a meltdown every now and then.
Stress is a major factor for a meltdown, things that happen in your daily life that don’t go to plan or something unexpected can lead you to have a great deal of stress laid on your doorstep..wonderful I know but it can happen to us all! One problem I seem to have with this is that I store all my stress up sometimes and don’t let it out healthily such as get angry or upset about things and eventually…it all comes out in one outburst that is often referred to as a ‘meltdown’ and we all know what can happen in those times! I wrote a blog about such here- I Had A Meltdown and Aftermath of a Meltdown, check them out!
No one likes having a meltdown or having to deal with one but they seem to be pretty unavoidable for anyone with Autism, like a little volcano sat atop of your brain that likes to erupt then go into a dormant sleep for a while before erupting once again and the level of meltdowns can alter as well, some are minor and only last a couple of minutes whereas some have lasted for a day or even all night as well!
Worrying and just about everything can be enough to trigger a meltdown as well as one incident, no matter how large or small is likely to play on the mind repeatedly and the longer one worries about things, that can go onto stress which I said before means more than likely a meltdown.
Anything bad that happens to me and I can worry about it for quite some time afterwards and it can really take a while before my head calms down which can mean I spend a lot of time somewhat ‘calming down’ nothing major, I just feel worried that the worst will always happen, despite many people telling me the opposite but I will still worry and I have found that really, only one thing seems to work, only one thing has been so effective in helping me move on from any sort of incident I have found myself coming across so far in my life
Time heals all wounds, right? Say a week or two after something has happened that I haven’t liked, whether it be bad or unexpected…I normally calm down and accept that it is behind me now, time to move on but why is it just simply waiting for enough time to pass by before I move on the only really effective way that I have found so far? Well that answer is simple, normally by this point, I have a brand new worry to have, so much that I would usually forget all about the previous problem altogether…until maybe sometime later in the future where it might randomly pop into my memory once again but it’s not as bad as it was the first time because I’ve usually grown and learnt from the previous mistake so it doesn’t affect me anymore
After time, normally I won’t have a meltdown over the same kind of thing for a very long time, say a year or maybe even longer, it has varied in the past but as long as I understand why the incident occurred and I understand, I can move to prevent such a thing from happening again, hopefully in most cases anyway. It depends how severe, such as bullying, a mistake or even love…it could even be something as small…as taps dripping…anyway!
A meltdown I would say is trigger by stress, over worrying or just really so many things happening at once in your life that overloads your brain and you just can’t take it anymore so you implode inside, you need to let it out! However, I am sure many other things in life can trigger a meltdown, who knows maybe too many happy things can make you have one…maybe too much of any emotion might trigger an emotion…I don’t know…I’ve never really thought about it when I’m happy, it’s normally only when I’m very angry or sad that a meltdown even comes into my head at all!
As for now, that Volcano on my brain is fast asleep but I know it’ll wake up soon…I accept that…I’ll just prepare a nice warm drink, my PS4 and some good songs and lock myself away for about an hour then resume life.
More soon 🙂