Hello guys, this blog is being written tonight because…well I feel as if I don’t have much going on in my life at the moment and I don’t know how to feel about that!
I don’t really go out on a daily basis to do things as see friends and such even though I have them and because I don’t do that, I feel like a loser sometimes because I feel like I’m missing out and I feel sad that I secretly feel this way! I will often beat myself up over it thinking that there’s something wrong with me and I don’t know what to do with the feeling…I have friends, a fiancé and a great family!
I’m getting married, have a job and every now and then, I meet up with a good group of friends and we have game nights, meals out and days out and it’s all great but I don’t do stuff like that weekly or anything, it’s once in a blue moon or so it feels!
My worries and fears kick in and I feel really low because of it, I feel all alone and can’t fix the problem, my brain convinces me that my friends don’t like me anymore and it terrifies me! I know that I struggle to socialise and that’s associated with my Autism but I don’t like this feeling, it’s such a sad and terrible one that I always want to end the second it starts!
I shouldn’t complain I guess, I do have friends and all but still, I can feel like I’m isolated and that no one wants to be my friend and no matter what I try, my brain will convince me of this! I could cry sometimes how low my confidence can drop when I feel like this, it’s like I will fail at everything I try to accomplish when I feel like this!
Hope I’m not alone in feeling this way