This is a what if kind of blog, as in don’t take it so seriously or offensively, it’s just to make you think of an alternative scenario that your life could have taken if for example, you didn’t have Autism.

Have you ever wondered what would be like? If you one day woke up and felt a little different to what you’ve been accustomed to feeling like? You go about your day and notice certain little changes…such as everything doesn’t make you feel nervous, worried or scared…also you can have a conversation and for some reason, it seems to last longer than it would normally, this is beginning to get weird.

What if you one day woke up and didn’t have Autism anymore, how do you think you would feel? Would you feel happy or would you be sad like I would be because I would feel like a part of me would have gone as well because I have lived with my Autism for a long time now and to suddenly have it go would be to weird for me, because I can’t imagine suddenly being able to socialise confidently all of the time, and I can’t imagine it either…what I would be like, would I completely change? I have no idea if it is all my Autism that makes me like I am…in some aspects it does but whether it controls everything is another matter.

I imagine that if I one day woke up and discovered that I didn’t have Autism anymore, I don’t think much would change to be honest and that’s because I can’t actually imagine it being any more different than it is now…and If I can’t even imagine it, I doubt it would change if I was told I didn’t have Autism anymore but then again, it should change somewhat when it comes to confidence at the very least! I don’t know about anyone else, but if my confidence seemed to be better than I’d be happy, of course I would but then again, even with my Autism…I feel like I can make my confidence grow so maybe that’s why I would feel nothing would change if I discovered that my Autism was gone…in both scenarios I imagine I would be the same because I have Autism but I can still work on confidence and everything else that comes along with it.

One other thing would be meltdowns, would they disappear if my Autism was gone? I don’t know because they come and go! it’s difficult to imagine myself being able to go without having one and not always being able to do anything about it but what about facial expressions? Ok, that one would be a relief to be able to do with much difficulty, same with emotions…if I could click instantly and know if someone was upset or angry, that would be great! Save me a lot of time to be honest!

So with a few small tweaks here and there, I can’t imagine my daily routine being so different if I didn’t have Autism, I believe that I would be pretty much the same person I am now but what about how other people see me? Never having to worry about what other people think about it, or if they understand? Well, of course that would be nice! But let’s be realistic here, humans have a knack of finding anything to exploit about somebody so even if I didn’t have Autism, I’m sure something else would be picked on instead…no one doesn’t get bullied at some stage in their life!

Of course, everyone is different though, some might think they would be better off without Autism and others will say that Autism makes them who they are and would never wish to be apart from it and some might think a bit of both and that’s great, that’s your opinion and your right to have one!

In conclusion, I believe that apart from a bit of a confidence boost, being able to read facial expressions and read emotions, nothing else would probably change for me and even if it would, I would still choose to have Autism, I’m far too used to it now to try anything else like not having it! It’d be too weird to not worry over something…I’d probably get bored to be honest so yeah, as boring as it sounds, even in a what if scenario for me, next to nothing would change and I would be the same person that I am now…because I can’t realistically imagine myself being any different, my brain won’t let me.

How about you?

Have a good night.

 

2 Comments

  1. Nice post, for me, autism has been a huge burden in life. That being said, I wouldn’t want to have been born without it. Those challenges I’ve faced due to autism have changed me for the better, I wouldn’t be half, or even a quarter, of the man I am today without autism. Adversity is my spinach, it has me questioning myself in new ways and growing in direction I never knew existed. Without autism, I’d be like a majority of men today: weak, ignorant, and miserable. Instead, I have found a life purpose that excites me, and I see new challenges, and new ways to better myself, every day of my life. A me without autism wouldn’t have found the value in learning and self betterment, a me without autism wouldn’t struggle nearly as much as I do. But a me without autism wouldn’t have a chance of accomplishing what I’ve set out to do. There’s no doubt in my mind that a life without autism would be easier, but ease comes inversely with knowledge of self and accomplishment. I’ll hold my head high, yes I have what they call autism, and I am a better man for it. Really liked your post here man, it’s a good topic.

  2. Hmm…I do get to experience what it is like not to be autistic… as my insiders do not and I share the front with them and I experience life as they do and not as myself… in some ways I think I am lucky that I do so and in others I see my autism as a gift for my sensory perceptions make the world beautiful to my eyes and ears… But having both autism and mpd is a double edged sword…. and can cut me both ways… so either … or… are a burden and a gift… just a thought…

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