Hello, my topic today is Autism and life once you have finished University or for those who didn’t go to University, when you finish with Education! It can be quite a change to your life, especially if you have moved away from home and have gotten used to your new life in the place you have chosen to go to, whether it be cross country or right on your doorstep, you more than likely have spent the last 3 to 5 years living away from your parents and building your own life up
- Doing your own shopping
- Cooking your own food
- Possibly Studied Abroad
- Made New Relationships
But of course, one day…you have to graduate or drop out, but this is where a divide happens because you either
- Move back home
- Or Continue Living In Your Own Place
I know plenty of people that stayed in Huddersfield after University but many moved back to their home towns across the country, I moved back into my parents house, only to move out a few months later with my fiance but I noticed shortly after I graduated, the reality of how quickly everything was to change and it happened so fast that I couldn’t cope with it all so quickly and I got quite ill.
My brain went into meltdown mode quite a few times because I had so many new responsibilities to cope with and I felt like it had all been forced on me, just like that! With having Autism, my head is in constant thoughts enough as it is but this was overload central! It can be tricky for it to accept change like that but when I have little time to do it, it was bound to explode eventually and surely enough it did…It was nasty but with all meltdowns, they end eventually
Graduating was one of the proudest moments of my life because it culminated many years of negative thoughts and never believing in myself to proving so many, including myself wrong and crossing the finish line but because I had spent most of my life proving the world wrong…I was suddenly left with no fight to have…no one to prove wrong anymore…for the first time in my life…I had no pressure and to my surprise…I wasn’t happy with that! I missed it because I felt like I had no goal, nothing to push me anymore…It was rough because I had never had to feel like this before…that’s the problem with finally winning the war…when you have nothing else to fight for, you don’t know what to do with yourself at first, you know nothing else and my head didn’t want to accept it straight away, 24 years of fighting…and I had won! But what now?
Eventually, I got used to living with my fiance and my new life but it took about a year to do so, getting a routine and settling down before getting married but I still do miss the challenge, the feeling of it all…to feel like I can do so much because others thought I couldn’t, It was motivation and if taken away, I feel like I don’t have as much to fight for anymore. Someone once told me to enjoy every bit of education because once it’s over, you’ll miss it greatly…I didn’t believe him at first but now, I know that he couldn’t be no correct with what he told me!
I miss University so much sometimes that once or twice, my head has actually tried to convince me that I am somewhat still a student! Sounds crazy but I’ll explain in a moment why I am saying this to you…it’s quite crazy…well I think so any way but at some moments, briefly…I have thought I was once again a student!
I have woken up in the middle of the night before, sweating profusely because I was convinced that I had essays to hand in on that day, that I hadn’t even started yet and that terrified me to no end! I would be tempted to get out of bed and run to a computer and make a good start but then I’m like, I have no materials, no research or notes! But before I would go to crazy…I would return to my senses and I would calm down because I would always realise
Hang on, I graduated almost two years ago!
I would relax and breathe a sigh of relief upon realising this! But can’t believe that after all this time, I still get scared about something like an assignment to do…all the rewrites, emailing tutors for feedback and…Harvard Referencing! Enough to still give you nightmares 2 years on! Or it seems to have been for me up to this point anyway!
With my Autism, it made the sudden changes even more harder than they needed to and I understood that, I couldn’t directly help always feeling panicked and scared that I didn’t have what it took to do it! Then it hit me, I still have that challenge and that drive because even away from education, life itself is a challenge and I use it to motivate myself to keep going, to keep fighting and to win!
Life past University isn’t always the nicest of changes and if you are about to graduate, keep in mind that the change doesn’t have to be a bad one, it can be an experience that can challenge you, can make you a better person as you move away from essays, referencing and constant lectures, to looking for jobs, living in your own place and paying bills, it’s that step up the ladder of life that we all must take one day but it gets better with time, before long you’ll be used to it and you’ll reminisce of your days constantly looking up that one book you found online but you have no idea how you reference it on the essay! Good times!