Hello, it’s another cold day today, don’t you think or is it warmer wherever you are in the world! Last time, I talked about how I see things but today, it’s all about how others may see me…I always wonder what people see when they look at me…What do they see because I am always nervous thinking just what others are thinking and wondering when they look at me, is it any different when I look at you?
They just see a human being, right? Arms, legs, eyes and a face? Pretty much because Autism isn’t visible, you won’t look at me and go…there it is…all that Autism! No, you just see a normal guy living his life! What else would you expect…really? Something like this…
I would never wear anything like this…not for a single second! If I didn’t tell anyone, the majority of people would have no idea that I had Autism! You wouldn’t be able to tell because from as far as your considered, I am just another guy in this world…you would only have a clue if you knew me, if you had been around me and known me for at least a few months! For me, it’s when people find out that I have Autism that things seem to change! Even if they have no clue what Autism even is…they still change their opinion of what it once was!
Oh, you have something…I just need to go over here and….
That has actually happened before, If I ever feel comfortable enough to tell people I have Autism, it doesn’t always go well because the reality is that if ‘SOME’ people find out that you have something that they don’t understand…they don’t want anything to do with it and it can make you feel quite lonely sometimes because you feel wronged because you haven’t actually done anything to make them not want to know you! They just didn’t like the fact that you have something…sometimes I wonder if people think I have a disease or something…EVEN THOUGH IN DON’T! the way some react to finding out I have Autism…wold the reaction be that different because some people stay clear when they find out.
Maybe I’m being too negative though, maybe I have just felt too hurt by some peoples reactions that it’s knocked my confidence somewhat, Only I know that really or do I? One minute I think so, the minute I don’t! Once or twice, people have advised me to not tell anyone that I have Autism! And I have never liked to hear that because I feel like I have to hide a part of myself from the world because of all the idiots that will go out of their way to make me feel bad about it, to make me feel like I am incapable of living a normal life and I have had that growing up so I know all about being made to feel insignificant about having my Autism…I don’t know but would you hide the fact that you have Autism from everyone?
Would it bother you to let people know or would you hide the fact from people? I don’t want to hide it but people always advise that I do hide it…why? I get nervous around people and can sometimes be quiet….hardly something to not like me over but it can be enough, surprisingly and I want to sound positive here, many people often say I’m too negative about Autism, even though I am only speaking of my own experiences, not Autism as a whole for everyone..maybe once or twice I have but alas, many of my experiences have been negative in the past, doesn’t mean they are now.
Have a Good One!