Hello, how are you? Welcome to this blog! I thought I’d start with a little introduction of myself to you so if you’ve read some of my blogs before, you have a little idea of what I’m like as a person. Just something little but I thought, why not?
I am just a normal person who lives on the planet. I get up and go to work like everyone else, I earn, spend and socialise, for sure I can live my life! I am not rich or have a million friends, I don’t own a car or have never set foot in Asia, I am just a young man living in England and have lived here all of my life. I have been to University and got the degree; I have a fiance and will soon be married. Point is, I am just an average Joe who has worked for what he has had, I didn’t wait for it to come to me, I went and grabbed it all! And that’s how I like it because at one point in my life, I didn’t think I could even be that and that was because I blamed all my misfortunes on my Autism, it was it’s fault for the way I acted, why no one liked me etc I blamed everything on it, realised I was wrong, saw the errors of my ways and changed…growing in confidence along the way and along came the friends, work and fiance.
When you discover you have Autism, it can be a confusing time, it can be a relive, a nightmare and not that big a deal, all at once! Everyone will react differently, I reacted in a way like I was happy because I understood why I acted the way I did but slowly sank into a bit of a depression that took nearly five years to recover from! I was unhappy because I was told I would have it for the rest of my life, I had no idea what it really was, just that I was unsocial, had the occasional angry outburst and only cared about what I had to say! Sounds silly but I was about 13 at the time, I had other things I was going through at the same time so it wasn’t the best time of my life…unlike today where everything has worked out and I have beaten my past demons and to be honest, unless I told someone…no one would even know I had Autism…the signs are that easy to spot anymore and that brings me to my first point today and this isn’t for everyone. This part is only for some and they are ones that use the word ‘Autism’ and blame it for everything that goes wrong in life!
Wait, I can’t say that? Why not, some people do and I didn’t say all! It’s a small percentage that whenever something goes wrong will say something like
‘It’s not my fault, I have Autism’
It’s like, it’s ok, I have Autism….don’t mind me? I have seen a couple of people try this and have heard of others doing it as well but I have done it myself in the past and it baffles me because it makes me wonder why some people think people with Autism are the same…even though we aren’t! sadly you will find someone who thinks they can get away with anything because they have Autism, the odd number will use the so called ‘label’ as an excuse and like I’ve said, I did that once…because it was easy and I knew I’d get away with it but I grew to realise that it was wrong and a cheating way out of any situation but how would I grow as a person if I weaselled out of everything? I had to learn and accept the consequences of my actions so I did and with that, I began to change and grow because I understood why it was wrong what I had done and I wouldn’t do it again! Best decision ever because I began unafraid of everything and grew in confidence! That little label that people like to put on us means we all act the same? Nope but many people don’t know that or they just don’t care. One person rages online and every person who’s Autistic is a raging psychopath that will never move out of their parent’s basement! I stopped blaming problems on my Autism a long time ago because I realised that it wasn’t because of my Autism that I did what I did…I mean I will ask this, what is Autism exactly?
Is it something that makes me anti-social, prefer my own company and struggle to express an emotion like I’ve been told for most of my life because I was quieter than most kids when I was younger? Or is it that thing that I have not actually ever seen but have only been told is inside my head but can’t actually affect me? I mean Autism isn’t a thing that will stop you from doing anything…it’s not a rope that ties you down…for me, Autism is a negative voice that tries to convince me that I can’t do much but I always realise that it’s just a voice, it can’t ACTUALLY STOP ME, I can make friends, get married and have a good life because Autism doesn’t stop that yet many think it should do. Labels are a powerful thing because of the vast amount of people in the world, you just know many will see the word Autism and assume that you aren’t capable of much which I think is unfair but some people just can’t help but think that way!
But, that’s what makes Autism hard to pin down because just because I can do that, doesn’t mean that everyone with Autism can! We are all different and we all have our own battles to fight but one thing that we all should have in common is not using our Autism as an excuse for anything bad happening! I can’t make friends because I’m Autistic…maybe for some, I don’t know because I can’t talk for a planet’s worth of people but what I know from experience is I have been afraid to try and make friends and I had many bad days where I failed but I also had days where I succeeded as well…bad comes with good and I learnt that growing up! The reason why I believe that anyone with Autism can succeed and do what anyone else can is because good will always come with bad, you can’t escape it so I accepted that and never gave up, no matter how many times life knocked me down, I would get back up and try again until I won!
My Autism doesn’t define who I am, I define who I am and I always will. When people look at me, they won’t see a man with a label on his forehead saying, he is Autistic, what they will see a young man with a warm smile on his face and the eagerness to enjoy life! I have Autism and I’m proud but not for a single second does it mean I have to life a careful, unexciting life! Not by a long shot but once again, I cannot speak for all, I can’t say that others with Autism are so lucky, some will be and others won’t be but one other thing that we should all have in common is that we should never give up trying…no matter how scary something might seem, all we can do is our best!
One more thing I’ll talk about today is that all I ever seem to see is when people find out that someone has Autism…and that’s it, they have already judged, not given this person a single chance to explain or defend, the label has been set, game over! This happens way too much for my liking because everyone has a chance to speak before being judged by others. Now that might just be an assumption from me because in this world, we have so many people with Autism and well…no one is the same so you will of course get a major variety with some experiencing unfair judgement because of the so called ‘label’ placed on them by professionals or some even self-diagnose…not something I would do but whatever gives you peace of mind!
I have seen something appear all over the internet for so long that just angers me because every single time I have seen this, it has always been uncalled for and it doesn’t have anything to do with Autism at all or it shouldn’t do anyway! On Facebook or any other website where you can leave a comment, every now and then someone might have a little rant or give about three or four paragraph saying why they do or don’t agree with whatever the subject is about, whether it be sports, current events etc but every now and then I will see someone write a comment along the lines like this
‘What’s wrong with you, are you Autistic?’
Why? I even see the R word used a lot as well! What clue have they given you to make you think they are Autistic? Was it because they had an opinion? Because they didn’t agree and maybe had a bit of an angry rant online….like the majority of internet users do?! And what are you implying by saying that, that all people with Autism are bad tempered, anti-social freaks that are constantly negative? That’s the impression I always get whenever I see a comment like that and I have found them in all kinds of comment pages!
Well, that’s all for today, If you made it to the end, thank you for reading! I appreciate it and feel free to leave a comment saying what you thought and who knows, I might reply back! I really need to every now and then because I read them but sometimes feel nervous to reply, no idea why!
Have A Good Night