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To not be understood…why do I even have to ask this at all, why is this something that some people have to go through, just because they have Autism? Not all but some will have to experience certain people learning of what you have and they change how they treat you from that point on. I’ve had people stop associating with me, ignoring me and some will talk to me like I’m a child because apparently it’s the only way I’ll understand anything if it’s all simple and easy to understand!  What angers me about this is I have always shown to be capable and intelligent yet people look at a label and not beyond that, screw the contents when the label is enough for them. I’m glad not everyone is like that anymore, times have gotten better as I have grown and gotten more mature

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To not be understood by so many people that will just assume that I can’t do that much, by the label they place on my forehead. No chances given, no explanations allowed, the conversation shut off but why? Why is it that people always tell me that I cannot express an emotion or put something across clearly? it feels like they know the inside of me, what I am actually capable off, just based on me having Autism?! I just get angry about that because they never have a justifiable reason for actually thinking like that but one person did tell me once that they knew someone who had Autism and they struggled to do anything by themselves so they clearly assumed that I was the same…I was not and the voice they put on when they realise!

‘Well done you…I bet you had to come such a long way to be like everyone else!’

How patronizing is that?! I’m sorry but yes I have had to come a long way but you don’t have to make it out like you never really thought I actually ever would do anything! Keep your silly opinion to yourself if your going to have a sly dig at me! To be like everyone else, what do you even mean by that? Everyone is different, it’s what makes us unique…I’m sorry, it was only one person who said that to me but it was said in a way that a parent awards a child for not misbehaving for a while, left a bad taste in my mouth because I am proud of coming as far as I have, I don’t need to be mocked for it though by someone who should have known better, I mean I have been told to think before I speak in the past but this was one instance that I could think that of someone else for a change! Hate to quote Linkin Park but

‘I tried so hard and got so far but in the end, it doesn’t even matter!’- Linkin Park

To not be understood for some, not a big deal, for others it means everything! To feel like what we do matters, to not feel like despite how hard we try, it is ridiculed, ignored and put down to something like dumb luck! Trying so hard but not having it matter in the end sucks big time! Worrying about applying for jobs, making friends, even moving out of your parents house, all life steps that we should comfortably go through but can’t always because of the questions

  • Can they cope?
  • But won’t they be alone?
  • Are you sure they should move out?
  • Why would you get a job like that, you can’t communicate with people?
  • Are you sure, you’ve never been good at making friends?!

To not be understood by many is something that i have always wanted to change, of course I just want to live a nice normal life, not have people look at me like I need to just go home and have my family do everything for me…what have I actually done to make you think like that? I have a job, live with my fiance, have friends and can do just as well as anyone! Why is it when you happen to find out that I have Autism that some will just automatically change, despite what I have done and can do, I am written off! Not true for every conversation but enough have happened to make it note able for me to be somewhat fearful of it because I try so hard to do my best every day but sometimes, it’s just not enough for some and that’s a damn shame!

To not be understood…I don’t know, it just frustrates me the amount of people that just don’t understand what it is actually like to be autistic, not that I would wish it on anyone! To understand what it’s like to always be fearful, afraid that no one wants to be your friend because everyone else makes it look so easy, care to give any tips if it;s that’s simple?! The sarcastic quips…the feeling sorry for me but of course many other people are completely understanding and treat me like a human being! The majority are fine, absolutely and they make life great but the bloody minority are still enough to tick me off to no end because they can be so patronizing and go to extreme lengths to make me feel 5! It wouldn’t tick me off half as much if they didn’t make me feel like I had some kind of disease and I was dying but that is how I feel sometimes after they speak to me…I don’t want to feel down after talking about Autism, why should I have to…it’s not killing me! It barely affects me at all anymore and hasn’t done for a few years now because I have made mistakes, learnt from them and become a better bloody person because of it!

To not be understood, to not be labelled for once because it is unnecessary as the same because I am unique, different in my own way and that’s how I bloody well like it people! Way too many people think we should all be ‘normal’ not different in any way but what is that, what actually is that? Is it this by chance?

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Ummmmmm no thanks, I like to drum to my own beat, not the one I am told to! I don’t think normal actually exists because that would make us all the same! You often hear the term ‘We are all sheep’ and the big corporations and governments are the sheep herders because we all have the same fads, told how to live our life’s etc I’m sorry, maybe this is a bit of an over reaction after years of being told that I am incapable and not allowed to have a life without people questioning because the label is apparently on the wrong jar!

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