When it comes to Autism, many people like to associate it with socializing or the lack of Friends…oh boy, let’s face it…we all want to have a friend in this world, someone you can relate to, hang out with and create lifelong memories with them but as you have probably heard a million times, so often that your probably sick and tired of it, is that people with Autism often struggle to socialise with others which sucks big time because us humans are social creatures, we need companionship and to feel like we are needed, it’s natural, from the moment your a baby and depend on your parents and siblings to help you start, you depend on companionship.
- a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by great difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts.- The Dictionary
However, you can find many people who are autistic and have friends, yet that can shock some people…no idea why but whatever! Yet you can also find many that haven’t a single friend in the world and it’s this that I think so many people focus on when they hear of Autism, the ones that really struggle to make friends are associated as the ones with Autism and the ones that do have friends could perhaps be accused of lying, believe me I’ve had it happen and it’s frustrating! and why is that? I mean anyone can make a friend, that much is clear or so I believe anyway, you have someone for everyone in this world yet it can be extremely difficult, yet not impossible.
Great difficulty in communicating? That is true, to not be able to have a long conversation with someone or try to include yourself in activities with others is a disadvantage when it comes to making friends, I know all about that or I did when I was younger but over time, you learn from experience and use that to do better the next time you give it a go, in other words….practice makes perfect!
Communication is important and vital when it comes to making friends! That much is obvious as well as having common interests with others as well e.g you and someone else likes football having the same hobby can make it so much easier to become friends but you can have many ways of making a friend and you can make friends at any stage of your life, it doesn’t have to be at childhood where you make that friend that you will have for life. If you don’t make a friend when you are school, it doesn’t mean that you never will!
But what can you do if you struggle to put even a sentence together when it comes to talking to someone? I know that it’s easy to focus on what you like because that’s easy but is that always the best policy? Of course you can do that but also ask what it is that they like as well, ask them questions about it and listen! Listening is also very important, never dominate a conversation but don’t leave the other person to do that as well, it has to be equal and inputting from both sides for a conversation to go well.
Quite often, we can be afraid to start a conversation, or we would prefer it if someone came over to us and started it all off because we feel like we are wanted by someone for interaction which can lead to just about anything, who knows but sometimes, we need to be the ones who find someone and start a conversation with! Or as a friendly silly bear once said
‘You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come. You have to go to them sometimes’ – Winnie The Pooh
That can be scary to some and the amount of times I have hidden away in the corner because I was too scared to try and make new friends is shocking to me, if I could go back and re try all those missed attempts, I would, without a doubt! And I’ve seen many others do this as well, sit away from the big groups…alone and it has made me feel sad to see this because they always look sad themselves, looking away from everyone else like a silent cry for help but they just can’t find the voice to cry out with, a common occurrence I say!
Of course, in some occasions, even if your bad at talking to others you can still make a friend if they see past your shyness and like you for who you are which can happen, I mean some people are introduced through family ties, on holidays, a random meeting while your outside somewhere and I say this because I think many associate friendships with meetings at school/college, places of interests and the workplace but you can make a friend anywhere!
Friends are wonderful yet they can come and go, not all relationships are forever sadly as you can grow apart, fall out etc but the ones that last forever, where you survive all trials and beyond are the ones treasured the most by us, so if you make a new friend or have a good friend that you have had for quite some time than well done, I commend you and even if you don’t have that friend right now, maybe he or she are just around the corner waiting for you to find them, who knows what life has in store for us when it comes to friends but sometimes, we have to write our own chapters instead of expecting others to do it for us.
I will always believe that there is someone for everyone out in the world!