‘It’s not your fault you were born this way’
I don’t know about you but this is a particular line that I have heard multiple times during my life, it just feels weird to feel from someone, to try and cheer me up by making it feel like I had a choice in the matter or something or that I didn’t, I don’t know but I know it isn’t my fault…I don’t need any reassurance about that, none at all!
As of this moment, I have no idea how Autism ‘comes to be’ or anything like that, I just know that I have had it my entire life and I don’t question that, why bother? I know it’s not going away and honestly, I don’t want it to because that would be removing a part of me and I won’t let that happen, no matter how many people tell me that it would be for the best, I can only imagine how many people would offer me a cure to make me more ‘normal’ if the option ever came about one day in the future.
Have you ever had someone tell you that it’s not your fault? Ever wondered why they need to tell you that in the first place? Were you feeling down or confused about having Autism? For me, I wouldn’t need to be told that it isn’t my fault because it’s obvious that it isn’t! I’m a bit of a realist, I’ll admit but one thing that I can’t stand is when someone puts on a voice and tries to reassure me about having Autism, they make it sound 10 times worse than it actually is! Not a rant or anything but I can go about living a day to day life just fine, at one point I wasn’t able to but I have worked hard and learnt from so many mistakes to get to this stage and to still be talked to like I haven’t done any of those things is really annoying sometimes.
Why is the word ‘Autism’ enough to make up people’s minds on how they’ll treat me? With sympathy and child like voices from people I thought I knew, it happens for some strange reason when just five minutes ago, you were talking to me with respect and admiration for my accomplishments but the A word and that’s all gone, anyone else experienced something like that? An opinion or person change on you once they find out what you have? It shouldn’t matter in my opinion and I want to be more positive and upbeat about something like this but it’s happen quite a few times and it can be alarming and scary for anyone to even find out about my Autism, in case they don’t like me anymore!
If you ask me, one thing that needs to be made aware that someone with Autism shouldn’t have to be talked down to because you suddenly found out that they had Autism! I’m sure this doesn’t happen to everyone but if I could find someone a little more often that would be a d*** all of a sudden, because of what I have and change the way they talk to me, I’d be a lot more happier about the whole thing if I had a bit more positive talk coming my way about the whole thing as well.
I sometimes feel that no matter what I do, people will still look at me, and tell me that having Autism isn’t my fault and I’ll smile on the outside but believe me, it’s very different on the inside, it irritates me and annoys me because the amount of times I have seen people change opinions on the spot about it bewilders me, it is staggering actually how often an opinion can just change because of the A word!
Probably not a big thing but it’s still annoying.