Warning- Opinions in this blog are the bloggers only and are not meant to be taken as fact so he advises that if not shared then take with a grain of salt. More to life than getting upset over a strangers opinion if you ask me. But he hopes you enjoy reading the blog regardless. 

Autism and Friends, two words that many do not put together and I have always wondered why that is..I mean, everyone can make a friend so why do so many people assume that people with Autism struggle to do so?

Ah, friends…that companionship that one can have with someone who isn’t a family member, it’s something that we all want to have but for some, it can be too much to handle if we have too much of it. We crave it yet it terrifies us sometimes. Everywhere you look and wherever you read, Autism and Friends are rarely put together, in fact it is often one of the first things people will tell you that anyone with Autism can’t do well, make a friend.

I know, many of you will be saying that this is ridiculous and blown out of proportion, you will all have friends, I get that! Yet it is still seen wherever you go or whoever you talk to, they will say that people with Autism struggle to be social or that they are too scared or not interested in it which is silly as well, I want to be social, it just really scares me sometimes to put in a real effort because failure really scares me, either that or I’m scared that no one will be interested in being my friend sometimes but then again, past experiences make that hard to overcome sometimes and I’m sure that others will be able to relate somewhat.

I’ve met people who have more friends than they can handle and I have also met people who haven’t a single friend in this world and the ons who have about a handful which I think is where I class myself as being in that group. I have enough friends to count and that makes me happy and I’ll tell you why…I always get really scared and shy around a huge group of people, crowds scare me so I doubt I could handle having to many friends as It would stress me out far too much. I want to always make friends throughout life but I always get so scared about it all that sometimes, it puts me off…so annoying because I hate quiet moments sometimes and always appreciate time that I spend with my mates.

I’m sure that we could easily get many people who will say that they have friends and I am also sure that many will feel lonely and not really have friends, it’s a big world after all and we have a lot of humans! Isn’t it always nice to meet someone new and get along with them? Of course it is, better than meeting people and always getting nothing from the experience, like University or a job…plenty of people for you to meet and greet but for University, I know first hand that it isn’t as simple as everyone makes it out to be, I wrote a short story that was published from my experience of the very thing so I know what it really feels like when not everything you expect and hope for happens straight away.

I went to a party on my first night at my new flat and all I saw that might was countless new students getting drunk as possible and chatting away and I felt so scared the entire time that I didn’t really say much or do much, I left after half and hour and went back to my room, feeling terrified and I wondered why…why wasn’t I able to do what everyone else was doing, why did I want to go home and not go back?  Over time, I did get better and was a bit more social but I wouldn’t say I was ever a party animal or anything. 

Some people struggle to make friends and from first hand experience, I know what it feels like to have other people misunderstand you and make you feel utterly worthless and unloved and it is horrible, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone! I hope that everyone can find some comfort trying to meet new people in life, whether it’s in person or online but sometimes be careful if it’s online, not everyone are who they say they are!

Never be ashamed of who you are and never be what you are not! Don’t let others change you, make it you that changes you if that is what you want to happen!

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1 Comment

  1. Your blog has to be one of my favorite blogs Matthew! I really do love your views on autism! I also love the line in this article “Never be ashamed of who you are and never be what you are not!” Great stuff! Keep it up!

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