Mrs Stump works in a local supermarket because he needs money to live….Mrs Stump however has a habit where he will say something controversial at the most inappropriate of moments

Let’s say it’s a Monday morning and it’s rather busy as the store only has five open tills and the queues are long. Mrs Stump is trying his best to put on a smile and be positive but at every turn, events seem to get in the way and test this. Here are some of his lovely customers who I am sure will all be kind, patient and understanding!

Let us begin with two customers who arrive at the same time, Mr Stump assumes that they are together, Mrs Stump should ask though but her mind goes off with an important topic.

Mrs Stump: I’m just saying…Brexit is a stupid idea…I voted remain and would do so again…to not isolate ourselves from our European cousins is horrendous and could make or break the next couple of generations….what right do we have to make that decision for them, do we leave them a mess to clean up or a proper united continent that is stable and safe for us all.

Customer 1: Could you serve me please?

(Mrs Stump begins to scan items)

Mrs Stump: Do you have your points card

(The second customer hands over a points card, Mr Stump scans it assuming they are together, the first customer sees this)

Mrs Stump: Are you two together?

Customer 1: No…I couldn’t afford mine and her shopping

(Mrs Stump finishes scanning the items and rounds up the total, the first customer hands over a points card) 

Mrs Stump: Then why did she hand over her card to me when I was serving you?

Customer 1: Do you know what your doing?

Mrs Stump: Do you?

Customer 1: Excuse me?

Mrs Stump: Well you clearly watched her hand me a points card and said nothing about it, now your biting my head off because I can’t scan yours….what did you expect would happen?

(The purchase is complete but Mrs Stump is unable to take off the other customer’s points card)

Mrs Stump: Have a good day sir!

(Customer 1 leaves. Customer 2 hands over points card like nothing had happened, a bit grumpy)

Mrs Stump: What just happened?


Later in the day, Mrs Stump begins to think that her day can get better when a customer on her phone comes onto her till. She immediately begins to roll her eyes at how this could turn out.

Customer: Hello

Mrs Stump: Good Afternoon, would you like any bags?

(Customer says nothing)

Mrs Stump scans the small shop and rounds up the total.

Mrs Stump: And that will be 42 quid please, would you like any bags?

Customer: Cash card please

Mrs Stump: Excuse me?

Customer: Cash card…please

Mrs Stump: Would you like to purchase a cash card?


(Customer points to debit card)

Mrs Stump: Ok, calm down…why didn’t you say so.

Customer rolls eyes, pays and leaves. Mrs Stump mimics her face as she leaves.

Mrs Stump: Seriously, what is today?

Mrs Stump was a little agitated by the day she was having, she had apparently been receiving all the grumpy customers that had nothing better to do than make life hard for someone trying to earn a living. The thought of her naughty customers made her roll her eyes that it really did not take much to agitate some people.

Mrs Stump: It’s like some people come into a supermarket with a superiority complex, just to make people who work here miserable or something, like they have nothing better to do and this makes them feel good or something, kind of pathetic really!

After lunch, Mrs Stump felt more confident and was ready to put the start behind her and finish off strong! She had many nice customers throughout the day but this was to be short lived as a rather large angry looking man came onto her till.

Mrs Stump: Hel-

Customer: God, don’t you know how to greet a customer?

Mrs Stump was taken aback by this, she hadn’t even said a whole word and was already been shouted at, this was a new record.

Mrs Stump:…Hello sir

Customer: Hurry up, my time’s more important than yours.

Mrs Stump: (under her breath) True…McDonald’s is just down the street

Customer: Did you say something, speak up!

Mrs Stump: Do you need any help packing?

Customer: No…I can do a better job than you anyway!

Mrs Stump begins to scan items but as she is doing so, she can hear groans from the customer as he mutters under his breath .

Mrs Stump: Is everything alright sir


Mrs Stump remains silent as she finishes scanning items and rounds up the total.

Mrs Stump: 62.80

Customer: Why is it so expensive?

Mrs Stump: Well you did buy 3 bottles of whisky and a brand new DVD

Customer: Your so useless, retard!


Boss: Mr Stump, you have received a complaint!

Mrs Stump: Really, what for?

Boss: We were told by a rather angry customer that you didn’t help them pack their bags, is this true?

Mrs Stump: I’ve had so many customers in the last half an hour, I might have forgotten to ask every single customer that question, I apologize!

Boss: The customer had a bad arm

Mrs Stump: Was it broken?

Boss: Yes.

Mrs Stump: Oh, I remember them, I asked her if she would like help and she never responded….not to mention that she had her husband with her so I thought he was going to help her.

Boss: Did you offer help?

Mrs Stump: Yes…I think but the husband could have done something.

Boss: That’s not for you to think

Mrs Stump: If he was behind this counter, he’d be in f****** trouble

Boss: Also, they complained that you said Donald Trump shouldn’t be the President of the United States.

Mrs Stump: Bloody hell!

You’ll get them next time Mrs Stump, you’ll get them next time!

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