Have you ever felt less of a human because of what you have? Well the answer should be no! Why would anyone feel shallow and less of a person because of Autism? It’s more like how others see you, not how you see yourself really! I have never viewed myself lesser than another person but it’s how others perceive and comment about me that brings that opinion into my sight…others have seen me as inferior because I like to be quiet from time to time and don’t always socially interact but that doesn’t make me any less of a human.
A weird feeling given by others that I might not be ‘normal’ in the eyes of others because of what I have. I have been probed and tested all because I struggle to interact with others socially and made to feel like something is wrong with me, wouldn’t that make you feel less of a human?
The amount of people that throw me aside or speak to me no more when they learn the truth…an invisible and out of sight condition that can’t harm them but they are afraid of it and it can be lonely sometimes, some hard times because of how others have reacted but I’m still a human…one with feelings, I just can’t express them as well as you can!
Believe me when I say whatever cruel words you can say to me, I can say much harsher things about myself! It’s hard to remain positive when everything’s an uphill fight but I keep going, I keep smiling because every victory in this life was earned, not given by those who felt I was incapable, I don’t give up the fight because life has always been a fight, I don’t chill and relax. What you deem as taking it easy is climbing a mountain for me, might sound dramatic but to do as well as others, I must always overcome my own self doubt and the doubt of others just to get going, let alone be successful but I’m still human, just a very paranoid one.
If one cannot interact as well as others or at all, they are deemed ‘factory broken’ and some toss them to the side. If you’ve been to school, college or university, you’ll see what I mean as interaction is a vital tool to get the most out of it all but all the talking, group activities and what not can sometimes be too much for me to handle and I would prefer my own company from time to time but not all understand this and see an issue but I am still a human.
My being on this planet is no threat to anyone, I will talk and be myself around you but don’t be afraid to approach me, I sometimes need a bit of a push in the right direction, that’s all, I seek interaction just like everyone else, don’t think I’m being rude if I’m slow about getting to the finish line!
I’m very human, I have arms, legs, eyes and a mouth. I smile, cry and get mad. I have dreams, I have goals…I never sit and moan about how unfair life is…we all are on a journey and have stories to tell but never think that I am not human because of what I have, it doesn’t define me…I define who I am and what I do….that makes me human.