Hello, I mumble on about how it feels to deal with a friend, who might have the same thing as you. I’ve always wondered how if you have Autism, yet also have a friend that also has Autism, how do you deal with that? What I mean by that is how we are all different, hence we deal with certain issues that we all can sometimes struggle with…such as dealing with friends for example, I mean as we are all different, we handle issues differently but when that happens, can you not help but question why someone else would do something different than how you would?
It can be strange when you have Autism, learning to live with it and how others see you can have an effect on your live…I find that having the right people around you helps a lot in that department! Yet when you see someone else that you know struggling with Autism, perhaps a little more than you do, it can make you really think about yourself a little bit, like ‘Why don’t I do that?’ Whether it comes to dealing with friends, work, family etc it can sometimes be exhausting but I still make the effort, not that I always used to do that but with years of experience, I have adapted and learnt from the mistakes of the past and can now put more of an effort in to being more social, instead of being anti social and locking myself indoors all the time.
I know some people who have Autism and when I first met them, I struggled to get along with them initially, it was a very strange experience because I had imagined what it would be like to know someone else with Asperger’s yet when I met someone with it, the feeling was far different from what I imagined it to be. I still know them years later and while we have the same disability, we act differently about everything. I always feel a bit strange if I feel that out of the three of us that I know with Autism, I can go about a little more and feel comfortable around other people, whereas one of the others finds it exhausting and often needs time to themselves…letting life get on top of them as they live by themselves and don’t like to talk about feelings or if they feel down and having meltdowns as a result, whereas I live with my life and can speak openly about how I feel but used to struggle to do that!
Having friends is great and I have a good number of them and it took a long time to get to this stage of my life because for so long, I didn’t trust anyone and shunted them all out of my life, wanting to be alone…because I felt safer that way as a teenager but after a while, I grew out of this phase and as I went to college, let people back in and over the last 10 years, I’ve felt myself grow as a person, becoming more confident and in that…achieving more success socially, I mean being quiet and barely speaking to never shutting up is a big change in my life but one that I am very glad happened.
For year, it was easy to always spend so much time thinking about how to deal with Autism in my everyday life, that when a friend with Autism has a certain issue, he can’t deal with it and struggles to understand why that is so! Deep down, I know it’s because of how everyone with Autism is different, we all deal with certain situations in life differently so it’s hard to pin down, yet I cannot help but look at my friend when he deals with things in his way and think to myself ‘That’s not how I would do it!’ Because it feels like that’s how I used to handle situations and that it never ended up going well for me. Feeling lonely, isolated from others and taking myself out of events that could help boost my confidence up…I’d be really cross with myself if I did that nowadays in 2018! That’s what I would have done in 2008!
Life has been tough enough, having to compare myself to other people and thinking that I’m not normal because of what I have but it’s a different experience altogether when you compare yourself to someone else that has the same thing that you have…I just feel like I’m doing what many have done to me over the years…look at how I live my life and question every single little bit of it! At the end of the day, it is not up to me how he goes about his business but as a friend, you feel like you always want to help by being there if he ever needs to talk about anything.
Have a good day