You often hear people say that everyone who has Autism is exactly the same, we all struggle to interact socially with others and gradually can’t cope in society as much as others can, I’ve heard it all far too many times that it’s boring to me now. Honestly, the number of times someone with Autism has to explain that we are all unique and different to one another…If I had a pound (British Currency) every time I’ve had to, I could buy a Villa somewhere really warm! In one ear and out another, probably because many people stop caring the minute they hear the word Autism.
I struggle to speak for long periods of time, I over worry over everything and I can sometimes ay the wrong thing at the wrong time…that one has gotten me into some bother a few times in the past, something I like to think I have moved on from but maybe once every few years, it rears it’s ugly head and reminds me that I can’t escape from it but I will always learn from the mistakes I make. Not the best at making friends, I struggled to keep them for many years…always being used and not realising it, if I could go back and slap some sense into myself, I would! Yet I am an individual with Autism, I am not Autism itself, not everyone else with it won’t be able to exactly relate to me, many will have had a worse time and some will have a better time, this is what should be made clear and perhaps why so many people struggle to understand just what Autism is!
I don’t speak for everyone with Autism because I can’t do so! Many who are Autistic will not be able to relate to me with what I have been through but many will be able to so I can speak for some but for many, their experiences will be far different to what mine are, that’s the way it is and I’m alright with that because I never intend to speak for everyone with Autism, I just like to share my experiences with people, that’s all! The people I know with Autism aren’t the same as me, they act differently in many ways…one of them lets life exhaust him and he doesn’t know how to deal with it, so he locks himself away when he gets tired, I don’t do that…another can’t express his feelings and always acts like everything is alright, whereas I can always talk about my feelings to someone if need be but I’ll admit that I wasn’t always capable of doing this!
What we can relate to is probably making friends as we’ve all struggled before…we all have friends but could all admit that we don’t see them all as much as we probably could do, even avoiding them once or twice if we don’t feel up to a night out. It’s nothing personal if I do that but when your constantly assuming that people speak badly about you, paranoia often takes over for example and you feel down about it all and I’ll often ask if I’ve done something wrong and I’m always wrong and looked into it far too much…it’s just banter and everyone does it but I feel daft for worrying in the first place!
Regardless of what I write here, someone will think I’m talking about them and take it the wrong way…it’s just the day and age we live in…I call it the ‘soft generation’ everyone will get offended far too easily today and it’s sad because all I see is eggshells all over the internet and I constantly step on them! What happened to this world where it’s bad to have an opinion? That’s banned apparently! My Autism and I are how we are, I’m not like some others with it…I never had the struggles of punching others and having to be locked away in a room because others don’t know what to do with me, I just struggled socially and was a very quiet person but I’ve overcome all of that and now work my arse off every day! I still have Autism though, it doesn’t go away but I can still have a decent life…don’t care what anyone who reads this says or thinks if they don’t agree, it’s my life and I know what’s happened in it, all the ups and downs are what I have experienced and if you take something from my words and understand then I thank you but if you can’t, then fair enough, it’s not for everyone to get! Your life might be very different from mine!
Each day can be a struggle when you hope for the best, that your dark days don’t return to haunt you once more…where you had no friends, a wife, a home or anything to speak off…all alone and hating everyone else for it, it wasn’t my fault for closing myself away…it was everyone else’s fault! Was how I used to act and think but nowadays I realise that I also didn’t make much effort to make my life any easier, I could have spoken out and admitted that I needed help but I was stubborn and didn’t want to accept that some of the problems I had gone through for many years was all my fault…I will not blame the Autism for everything because it can only do so much, yet I can do something as well and one day I did…but it took the perfect opportunity to wake up and realise just what was going on and I’ll always feel proud that I did so…I didn’t continue to moan and groan about how unfair life was, I made it change and I will always do so every day and when I speak, I mean to share my stories and my experiences, not say that this is how we all act with Autism, that is never the case!